How to Avoid an Epic Fail at Your Family Law Hearing
One of the scariest phrases I hear people utter when they tell me they have been served with papers for a family law court hearing is this: “I just plan on showing up at the hearing and telling the Judge my side of the story”. If that’s you, please take a few moments to finish reading this brief post so you will understand why that is never a good plan in a family law case.
Sometimes in life we can wing it in the moment – and actually pull it off – like a best man’s speech at a wedding, or a formal introduction of a presenter. However, in a family law case you should never wing it. It’s not a matter of “if” it fails – it is pretty much guaranteed that it will fail and here’s why.
At a hearing in a family law case, the Court can only consider information that is “in the record” or “on the record”, meaning it is written in a document, a piece of paper, which is in your Court file. It doesn’t matter if you filed a hard copy or e-filed a pleading; it has become a permanent part of the Court record in your case. It will usually be in the form of a Declaration that tells the Judge or Commissioner your side of the story. What makes that document a declaration (as opposed to just a letter written to the Judge) is important language – “I swear under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of Washington that the foregoing is true and correct.” That means you are swearing under oath that whatever you have written is truthful and accurate. In rare circumstances (which usually require preauthorization by an order of the court or in certain limited types of hearings) you may be able to give live testimony but when and how you can do that requires an understanding of your particular county’s local court rules and/or legal advice, so we are not covering that exception here.
If you show up to Court on the day of your hearing and you have not filed a Declaration in the Court file before the hearing, and by the deadline set by the Court rules, when you get up to speak at the Court hearing, you can expect to hear the Judge or Commissioner tell you that they don’t have anything filed in the Court record from you and they cannot consider the information you try to tell them right then and there. You might even have supporting documentation, such as medical records or a school report but you cannot just “give it to the Judge”. Then, after the other party or their attorney has presented their side of the story, the Court will make a ruling or decision, which is also called “entering an Order”. Court hearings in family law cases are usually about parenting plans, custody, visitation, child support, spousal support, restraining orders, or contempt. These are serious issues and if you don’t have an opportunity to tell your side of the story, the Court can only make its decision based on the other party’s side of the story.
An epic fail when giving the best man’s speech, or an introduction may be moments of mortifying humiliation and even years of friendly taunting about your moment of shame but trying to wing it at your family law hearing has serious and lasting consequences. Are you willing to take that risk?
If you cannot afford an attorney, I can help you by giving you affordable legal help in your family law case. I am a Limited License Legal Technician licensed to practice family law within a limited scope in the state of Washington. I can help you by giving you legal advice, and I can also prepare your pleadings and make sure you get to tell your story in a well-written Declaration. If you need my help for an upcoming hearing, please call me 425-287-2917.
If you cannot afford any help and you are going it alone, I encourage you to print this Declaration form from the Washington Courts’ website FL All Family Law Form 135 Declaration, look at the Local Court Rules in your county, and follow those rules for the deadlines for filing, serving and benching your Declaration so that you can tell your story to the Court.
Whether you contact me for help or go it alone, I sincerely wish you all the best. I know that when it comes to dealing with a divorce, separation, child custody or child support matter, it often feels like there is nothing more important in this world and yet rarely enough money to fund the legal assistance that you need. I will help you navigate your way through the family court system with integrity, compassion and 21+ years of real-world experience.
